Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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