we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize