i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
