For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
