Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
