Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
