I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
