Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
