I wish I only lived at night.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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