We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
