Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
