just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
