Me. At least after what I've been through.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
