Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
