note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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