ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize