My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
