The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
