so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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