next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
