i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
