gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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