its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
