i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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