Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
