One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All the doctor said was why
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
