Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You took a bar mat shot.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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