why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
