ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize