shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
