I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
