i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So vagazzling was a success
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
