well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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