I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
