I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
