I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
