Christians are straight up FREAKS
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
being pregnant is like rehab
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize