you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
