um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
