is your mom at the bar?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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