how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
