I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
