My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
