Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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