how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
