you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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