He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
