It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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