Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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