Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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