either way he was missing a nipple.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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