Betty ford says i'm here all night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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