Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
