Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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