I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
