i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
