every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
