we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
