i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
